The “no baby talk date”

Last weekend (May 29-30) was a little rough. After spending the whole evening Friday looking for baby furniture and talking endlessly about our options — or seemingly lack of — for cribs, changing tables and gliders (me mostly talking, Derek mostly listening) I moved on to worrying about the problem of where to pump when I go back to work after maternity leave.

I haven’t even had the baby and I’m already mentally back to work. This is sick!

We spent Saturday again shopping for furniture, baby and otherwise (we’ve been seeking a new couch which we finally bought — yeah!) after which I was hit with an absolute exhaustion from talking about the baby all the time. At one point I even turned to Derek as we drove home and said, “What did we talk about before we were pregnant?” And then it hit me — things were out of control. It was then and there we decided to implement the “no baby talk date.” No, this is not a reference to refraining from the annoying fake words people seem to find appropriate to use around a baby that can in actuality be detrimental to their verbal development. Avoiding that kind of baby talk should be an EVERY day thing in my opinion. (I feel a post on that subject coming on in the future). Rather, this would be a date set aside where we get to just be Lisa and Derek again, rather than Mommy- and Daddy-to-be.

Don’t get me wrong — I am thrilled at the imminent onset of parenthood and Derek is too, but I know it is absolutely vital we pay close attention to our current relationship even when we have so many other things to worry about.

We actually employed something similar when we were engaged. What a stressful time, right? It got to where all our interactions became wedding planning sessions or a chance to relay information from my mom to pass along to his. During this time we implemented the “no wedding talk date” and it was an absolute lifesaver, reminding us of why we were getting married in the first place. It was fantastic. I’m hoping this new version will have a similar effect.

So far it seems to be going well. We have gone on two such dates so far and it is amazing how much more relaxed and human I feel during and afterward and I can tell Derek is far more interested in discussing my endless baby-related concerns after he's had a break from dealing with it for a little while. It's definitely something I'd recommend.